This one is for Patrick....

So the other day I was telling a story about Ethel Merman (don't even think about saying "who?") and I realized that unless you are a musical theater fan (or in my case, geek) you may only know Ethel Merman as an old warhorse that sang "There's No Business Like Show Business" really, really loud. Ethel was probably the last great Broadway Star with a capital "S." She starred in movies and Broadway shows, both successfully, and was probably the most powerful voice the belt it on Broadway. She starred on B'way for over four decades - from the 30's till the 70's, and in the days before microphones. (You would never find a body mic nestled in her bodice!) In fact, George Gershwin said "You had better not write a bad lyric for her, because they're going to hear it in the second balcony!" Cole Porter said that she "sounded like a parade going by" and she was called "a force of nature." Ethel's "plant your feet and sing" style, combined with her unerring pitch and crisp diction added up to one hell of a leading lady. She was also not one to mince words. When Harvey Fierstein asked her what she thought of his show "Torch Song Trilogy" she said "I thought it was a piece of crap, but people laughed, people cried, so what the fuck do I know." My favorite line of hers was when she was fueding with a co-star in "Gypsy," and a member of the press asked her if she was still speaking to the woman. In her own immutable style, she said, "Of course I still speak with her. Every night when the curtain goes down, I tell her 'Go fuck yourself!'" None of that namby-pamby 'oh we love and respect each other' horseshit for Ethel. Even her best friend (and longtime rival) Mary Martin was not spared - of her, Ether reportedly said "She's so god-damned sweet, it rots your teeth!"

Oh, if only the stars of today were that honest...